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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26389726">On The Matter of Brownies</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeastExpected_Archivist/pseuds/LeastExpected_Archivist'>LeastExpected_Archivist</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Sentinel (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crossover, Gen, Humor, Points of View</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2002-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2002-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 09:40:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>632</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26389726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeastExpected_Archivist/pseuds/LeastExpected_Archivist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>by Missy</p><p>I know.i did what i told myself id never doI wrote a crossover story, not to mention.wellyou'll see.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Least Expected</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>On The Matter of Brownies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Note from Amy Fortuna, the archivist: this story was originally archived at <a href="http://fanlore.org/wiki/Least_Expected">Least Expected</a>, which has been offline since 2002. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/leastexpected/profile">Least Expected collection profile</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Blair Sandburg came out of the bathroom, drying his hair.</p><p>"Jim?" he called.</p><p>Silence greeted him.</p><p>A small colorful figure ran across the loft and disappeared behind the couch.</p><p>He heard giggling like little children and a few hushed whispers.</p><p>"Hello?" he called again.</p><p>Just then the door was broken in and a VERY tall man dressed all in black and green stood in the doorway. "Have you seen two or three halflings around in your dwelling? I have good reason to believe they have escaped here."</p><p>The anthropologist ignored the question, shocked and more than a little flustered at the thought of a stranger barging into his home. "WHO ARE YOU?!"</p><p>He considered going for his handgun...</p><p>"I am Aragorn, son of Arathorn, King of Middle Earth, and I am looking for three halflings about so tall," he waved his hand around his knees to demonstrate their height.</p><p>"What's a 'halfling'?" Blair asked.</p><p>More muffled giggles came from behind the couch.</p><p>"There! I hear them! They are here!" Aragorn leaped up in the air and clicked his heels. "YAHOO! YES!! GO MEE!! I AM THE BOMB! YEAH, JUMP BACK! KISS MYSELF!" He then moon-walked to Blair, who back away nervously.</p><p>More muffled giggles came from behind the couch. "Merry! Pippin! Come here now!"</p><p>Instead the halflings ran away yelling in terror, "Oh NO! He is going to get us and bring us back to the Dark Queen! Frodo! Appease the Pastry God so he may save us!!"</p><p>"Uhm.. Excuse me, but...what is going on? Get OUT!" Blair tried to assert his authority but his words were drowned out as another small person dashed from the couch and screamed in a high pitched voice. He ran into Blair kitchen and greedily rummaged through his pantries and his fridge.</p><p>"Hey! Get out of there!"</p><p>Frodo came out with a box of Oreos and a few packages of Twinkies and Little Debbie's and yelled to his companions, "Merry, Pippin! Come with me and let us praise the God of Pastries and Sweets!!"</p><p>The three halflings came together and threw the treats up in the air, catching some in their hands and much more in their mouths. They smeared cream and crumbs all over their faces and in their hair, moaning incoherently and chanting, "IKA LAKKA <strong>LICKEM! SICKA SACKA POTATOES! IKA LAKKA LICKEM! IKA LAKKA LICK!"</strong></p><p>Aragorn stepped forward and grabbed one by the waist and hoisted him up and away from the mess. He touched a small triangular pin on the lapel of his cloak.</p><p>"Gandalf, I've found them, and it's worse than we thought!"</p><p>An instant later, an old man in gray robes materialized next to Aragorn and Blair yelped and almost fell over. The old man looked to the astonished anthropologist and tipped his misshapen hat.</p><p>"Greetings kind sir. My apologies for my friends' insanity, they have been under much stress."</p><p>Gandalf then picked the other two up, one under each arm. They protested loudly, kicking and screaming.</p><p>"NO! Please do not take us back to the Dark Queen! She will hurt us and hit us and bash our heads and such other horrible things!! PLEASE!"</p><p>Their pleads went unheeded and Aragorn shook his head. "I am surprised they have not slipped into a come yet, all the trauma they've been through."</p><p>"Yes," the old man agreed, "Missy is in a bad mood again. But if they think <em>they</em> have bad luck, have they read the story she just wrote about me? I had nightmares for a <em>week</em>!!"</p><p>Aragorn tapped the triangle pin again and said, "Beam us up Scotty!" and they disappeared.</p><p>Blair sat on his rump, staring at the horrid, fattening mess on the floor and wondering how he'd explain the crumbs ground into the carpet to Jim....</p><p>TheEnd?</p>
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